Things You Won't See in Idaho Falls

. . . sniper guard towers at shopping malls.

. . . cows mowing soccer fields.

. . . dried iguana for supper

. . .cemeteries as colorful as circuses.

. . . women carrying heavy baskets on their heads.

. . . mounds of hand-made pottery pieces

. . . seat belt laws strictly ignored.

. . . ancient murals depicting red-skinned and white-skinned people.
(Lamanites and Nephites?)

. . . markets where you dicker for deals.

. . . smoking mountain tops.

. . .razor wire and steel spikes in every neighborhood.

. . . pigs on a beach
(well, maybe pigs in Idaho Falls, but no beach).

. . . mangoes picked right off the tree.

. . . this many pigeons in one place.
(Andrew, close your mouth!)

. . . rows and rows of hand-painted masks.

. . . la torre de Paris. Yup, it's in Guatemala City.

. . . blue corn, white corn, yellow corn too.

. . . spiders the size of your fist.

. . . thatched-roof motels.

. . . devil pinatas for burning your sins away.

. . . piping hot blue-corn tortillas.

. . . portions of the Berlin Wall (shipped all the way from Germany).

. . . McDonald's motorcycle delivery

. . . armed guards--everywhere!

. . . 17th Century Architecture.

. . . acres of manicured farmland, all cultivated by hand.

. . . "Please do not urinate" signs,
(which Guatemalan men never heed).

. . . after heavy rains, houses with running water.

. . . wood carriers.

. . . laundromats in lakes.

. . . turkeys this fresh

. . . coconut juice straight from the source.

. . . laundry lines decorating the highways.

. . . mangled, tangled electrical wires.

. . . colorful kites that are three stories high.

. . . Waldo's horse?